Can you imagine if Pepper and Tony were to ever have kids that in the delivery room the nurse would try to hand Tony the baby and he’d just look at it like
i don’t like to be handed things
okay you know what i really need in my life is school captain steve rogers trying so hard to plan the perfect prom (because, well, bucky. maybe bucky’s been away…overseas. Russia with his uncle, something like that…but he’s finally transferred back and this is his last year—THEIR last year—and steve is going to make this a freakin night to remember if it kills him, damn it).
so then we have tony, who does nothing but troll steve the entire time, leaving endless “suggestions” in the prom committee’s suggestion box and taking up more of steve’s time than he has to give right now. meanwhile, clint and tasha are too busy trying to win some kind of stupid bet to even pretend to help him out (steve’s not sure what the terms of the bet are but he’s definitely sure he doesn’t want to know) and bruce… well he’s got his own shit going on which is fine, steve knows how he gets sometimes. he said he’d be there to help lift furniture and hook up speakers or whatever, which is more than steve can say for the rest of the so-called “planning committee”, so bruce at least stays off of his shit-list.
eventually things start falling apart around his ears, because of course they do. it’s the decorations first— all that crepe paper and glitter that steve had to spend an hour glaring at in the party store, trying to figure out the difference between cornflower and cobalt, it’s all sitting at his feet in a giant congealed blob because thor was supposed to drop it off at the gym but he got distracted when he noticed some of the science-y kids having some kind of shouting match and ended up leaving the decorations box next to the vending machine outside so he could go break up the fight (even though it turned out not to be a fight, just some kids getting super excited about quantum physics or something) which means the box was left outside overnight and of course it poured down rain all over everything. now steve’s left with what is basically a giant cornflower blue (or was it cobalt?) spitball.
somehow though— by the time he tracks down thor and his new science buddies and gets the keys to the gym back from him— the room he finds himself standing in after he’s unlocked the doors looks absolutely nothing like the sweat-stained, scuff-marked gymnasium they have practice in every monday, wednesday and friday afternoon. the whole room is drowning in streamers and…god, are those disco balls? there’s…really a lot of gold. also red, but the gold is blinding. clint won’t be happy, but he’s got detention with coulson for the rest of the week leading up to prom so chances are he’ll be banned from showing up anyway. steve’s got to admit, it’s a hell of a job. he’s impressed. he only wishes the moment could last a little longer but instead he gets tony effing stark creeper-ing up behind him, peering over his shoulder at the box of soggy ribbons steve’s still holding in his arms. there’s a smirk on tony’s face about ten feet wide and steve just knows he’s about to say something clever. steve cuts him off before he can start, dropping the box at tony’s feet with a wet thwump and a glare.
steve just really doesn’t have time for this, okay? he has a prom to plan.